Monday, January 3, 2011

Not So Different Than You

I'm like everyone else. We all share the same goals: happiness, self realization, and knowing our place in the world. Many try to fulfill them through fairly normal means like getting married, having children, and believing in a power greater than ourselves. Others attempt this in far more awful fashion, with involvement in gangs, hate crimes, and full-time employment among the results.

Me? I just want to be a dog. Naturally, statements like that call for disclaimers. I'm not a furry. They're gross. I don't have sex with animals, I just want to be one. Specifically, a muscular, well-groomed, plump but not fat, pampered, little-on-the-largish size Great Pyrenees named Fritzel. It is not my spirit animal or totem. It is who I am. Or rather, who I will be.

I'm attempting to undergo surgery to become canine. Though very difficult, it will not be impossible. During the journey I will share insights on how this change could help you personally along with assorted puppy paraphernalia, how current events impact my success, and the process of finding a surgeon. There's currently hope in Thailand and Dubai, though the trail is starting to go cold.

There were some bright spots today, as I was able to get within 100 meters of the vet's office without police interference. One day I'll walk through those doors again, though this time as a patient rather than offender. Before then, videos like this one from kindred spirit DesertCheech keep my spirits high. You ask for feedback? Well I already told ya mine, buddy, just want more!

Also like most people by the time the after dinner slump hits I'm so tired I feel as if I've been (maybe literally) chasing my tail all day. Gotta get some shut eye before another long day of fighting my struggle.

3 comments:

  1. Wow, that is fascinating! I just want you to know that in this vast and judgmental expanse we call the internet, you've got a supporter. I, too, have indulged myself in canine culture since a young age. When I was 8 and my little Yorkie angel, Derby, died I had him stuff so that I would never forget the crispness of his aquamarine eyes. Though I myself would not consider going to such drastic measures to understand dogs, I can understand the appeal of their bodily form.

    ReplyDelete
  2. Well you certainly caught my attention lol. I'm honestly not sure what to say...

    ReplyDelete
  3. As funny as this is, I just can't understand why you'd ever choose being a subservient emotional mutt over being a cat. I wish you the best though.

    ReplyDelete