Monday, January 3, 2011

Not So Different Than You

I'm like everyone else. We all share the same goals: happiness, self realization, and knowing our place in the world. Many try to fulfill them through fairly normal means like getting married, having children, and believing in a power greater than ourselves. Others attempt this in far more awful fashion, with involvement in gangs, hate crimes, and full-time employment among the results.

Me? I just want to be a dog. Naturally, statements like that call for disclaimers. I'm not a furry. They're gross. I don't have sex with animals, I just want to be one. Specifically, a muscular, well-groomed, plump but not fat, pampered, little-on-the-largish size Great Pyrenees named Fritzel. It is not my spirit animal or totem. It is who I am. Or rather, who I will be.

I'm attempting to undergo surgery to become canine. Though very difficult, it will not be impossible. During the journey I will share insights on how this change could help you personally along with assorted puppy paraphernalia, how current events impact my success, and the process of finding a surgeon. There's currently hope in Thailand and Dubai, though the trail is starting to go cold.

There were some bright spots today, as I was able to get within 100 meters of the vet's office without police interference. One day I'll walk through those doors again, though this time as a patient rather than offender. Before then, videos like this one from kindred spirit DesertCheech keep my spirits high. You ask for feedback? Well I already told ya mine, buddy, just want more!

Also like most people by the time the after dinner slump hits I'm so tired I feel as if I've been (maybe literally) chasing my tail all day. Gotta get some shut eye before another long day of fighting my struggle.


  1. Wow, that is fascinating! I just want you to know that in this vast and judgmental expanse we call the internet, you've got a supporter. I, too, have indulged myself in canine culture since a young age. When I was 8 and my little Yorkie angel, Derby, died I had him stuff so that I would never forget the crispness of his aquamarine eyes. Though I myself would not consider going to such drastic measures to understand dogs, I can understand the appeal of their bodily form.

  2. Well you certainly caught my attention lol. I'm honestly not sure what to say...

  3. As funny as this is, I just can't understand why you'd ever choose being a subservient emotional mutt over being a cat. I wish you the best though.